Yoenah
The area addressed as Yoenah is an unincorporated community located along a back road in the middle of nowhere, or technically, a lonely area of Eastshield. It consists of three buildings (two houses and a two-story building which the village wants to be a city hall) and three residents. Background As the residents put it, Yoenah was founded when a penguin was riding in a vehicle through the two-lane back road addressed as Lula Road, around 1969. It was dark out as it was night, the dead of Antarctic winter, the dense trees blanketed what other light the stars and moon could have provided. His vehicle broke down, and he was forced to camp where he stopped. Eventually, another vehicle came down Lula Road and was able to help him. The penguin grew attached the the place his vehicle broke down, however, and he marked it with an iron pole he was carrying. The pole is still standing, right near the two story "city hall". He came back to the spot, this time with machinery, and cut down enough trees to erect one house. He chose not to use an igloo since he had so much wood. Later, one other penguin joined him, with his own story, and they set up their homes in the middle of nowhere as well. They named their community "Yoenah", and tied a napkin with the town's name on the pole. The napkin is replaced very frequently to this day. However, the town really became notably strange when a relative of Professor Shroomsky, named Moncton (the professor's brother), settled in town after his vehicle broke down in 1992. Moncton didn't like the King of Colonial Antarctica, and he was escaping because he played a recording of a tongue-raspberry sound (he couldn't do it himself) while the King was speaking. He decided that Yoena would be the perfect place to hide and quietly had materials shipped in. He built a two story building with four rooms on each floor, and a clock tower (which works). He chose to live on the second floor in a room on the far-left corner. Moncton made fast friends with his neighbors, who also preferred not to be separated by species in colonies, and they decided to appeal for incorporation as a city to spite the king as a way to rule themselves. However, when the submitted their municipal request in December of 1992, they were turned down and laughed at (the King doesn't incorporate cities), particularly because when Moncton showed Yoenah on a map, he was showing a completely blank part of a map. Lula Road was so rarely travelled that it wasn't listed on any major map. Moncton wasn't discouraged, however, and tried again for years, and is still trying as of now, with his neighbors' helping. Professor Shroomsky, who has always been very hesitant to speak about any of his family except his mother, acknowledges Moncton as his brother but refuses to mention anything else. If the city is ever incorporated, the residents of Yoenah want Moncton to be their mayor. He's already dressing the part, so say the few creatures who have driven on Lula Road frequently, top hat and all. With the help of his brother, Moncton got the Governance to run power lines to the city, and had them drill a well for melt-water underground which drifted from the mountains. Map Yoenah and its accompanying road are over fifty miles from any other civilization. Located near the mountains in way eastern Eastshield, the area is heavily wooded with surprisingly hardy trees (which is odd, considering Antarctica's cold weather normally kills inland trees) which block out sunlight and give Lula Road a mysterious feeling. A green and white sign reads "Welcome to Yoenah" and a sign which read "Now Leaving Yoenah" are about two hundred feet apart. The area which would be incorporated as a city is about 0.87 acres, which would make Yoenah the smallest town in Eastshield, and possibly Antarctica (with Itsy Bitsy Tiny Micro Town, its only close competition, being about fifty acres). To reach Yoenah, turn off of Highway 1 about fifteen miles before the exit to Snellville. You should see an old, cracked concrete ramp with rusted railings leaded to a faded asphalt road. This is Redtop Junction Lane, which forks into Lula Road at the left and continues as Redtop Junction Lane on the right. Keep driving down this road long after you enter the woods. When you see the fork in the road, turn left there and continue straight. After about an two hours and forty five minutes down, you should see a blackened, scorched clearing with a historical marker. This is where the King of Sorrow first reared his evil head. After a total of three hours of driving down Lula Road, you'll see a green and white sign and another a few feet away, with three buildings, one being two stories tall with an impressive clock tower. That's Yoenah, and if you don't stop by the time you're close, you'd pass it immediately. Places Aside from the two houses, the City Hall's eight rooms are in use as various items. One of the four first floor rooms is a hotel room, complete with running water and a small, enclosed bathroom. It has a king-sized bed and a small analog television which only plays VHS tapes because analog signals are no longer broadcast. Moncton and neighbors managed to donate fifteen VHS tapes, ranging from half of an episode of Ford Car and Link, to a recording of a South Pole Council debate from 2003, to an hour and thirty minute documentary on the history of yarn. Another of the four rooms is empty and is currently serving no purpose, and another is a small diner that serves incredible homemade soup cooked by Moncton himself. A few penguins who came to Yoenah came because of the soup. It has a stove for the soup, a broken chandelier, a lamp, and one four-seater table. A refrigerator is also found behind the door into the room. The fourth room, which is also where the front door is, is a makeshift directory, rest stop, and a lobby for the "town hall", hotel, and diner. One of the neighbors volunteers his time to waddle over when someone comes and acts as the desk clerk. The second story's rooms, with the exception of Moncton's sleeping area and actual residence, contain a desk, a file cabinet, and a computer (without Internet access, Yoenah lacks Internet), as well as a large supply of napkins, a filing cabinet, a flag of the United States of Antarctica, and one jail cell in case of crime (never used). The two houses across the road are very normal, and also small, each having three rooms. Inhabitants As stated, four penguins and a mushroom. *Sidney (who is male) is an elderly penguin who founded the place in 1969. He's a brown penguin with a Music Jam necklace, and that's it. He also has a cane and very biased and strong views on the issues and politics of the nation. He has a television that can pick up three channels, one of them being the news and another being a live broadcast of the South Pole Council when in session (called P-SPAN). When he's not working around the area in in the forest, he's watching the news or P-SPAN and commenting on it all. *FeverFan000001, who is also male, lives in the other house surrounded by his collection of Watex/Fever items. When not driving around looking for Fever/Watex memorabilia, he is at home reading Fever/Watex's autobiography and his biographies, admiring and/or playing with his collection, or discussing politics with Sidney. As one can tell, FeverFan000001 is obsessed with Watex/Fever. *Jim Thorton, who runs a tiny little coffee shop near town hall, which also sells a few groceries, seeing as the town is far away from a store. *Sir Jimothy, who apparently is an exiled High Penguin from the days of Khanzem. King of Sorrow noting the location where the King of Sorrow first appeared, twenty miles down from Yoenah, off Highway 1. Click to enlarge.]] Yoenah has the horrible distinction of being the grand debut of the dreaded King of Sorrow. When Zone's best friend, Kill, came to town to commit an obscure robbery at Jim's general store, Mayor Shroomsky didn't tolerate it. He called up his brother (the Professor) and summoned a massive squad of AIA and PSA agents to stop Kill from getting away with all of the store's comic books. She was arrested and handcuffed. Zone then arrived, sensing her distress, and was held back as Kill was loaded into a patty wagon to be hauled off to jail. Zone couldn't handle the thought of his best friend locked up in prison, and he assumed the form of the King of Sorrow and chased the agents down to a stretch of road about twenty miles from the scene of the rest. In seconds, the King stopped and destroyed all of the vehicles, badly injured the agents, decimated their weapons, and ran them off. He also singed the road and leveled every tree in a two hundred foot area, creating a visible hole in the forest. The King then hovered near a terrified Kill as the media, several magicians, and other experts descended to the scene of the attack. Luce herself was called to exorcise the wraith (she recognized it from her early wars and as Narrator), but failed. The King saw these creatures as a threat, and began to attack them as well, but ceased when Kill supplicated for him to stop. With her pleas, the King of Sorrow reverted back to Zone. The place where the King appeared is now marked by a historical marker warning of the dangers and commerating the event. No one died, but the agents were hospitalized for a month each. Resources *For those in the know, there is an entrance to the Universal Bureau of Fictitious Literature hidden in this small town. Moncton has no idea about it. See also * Moncton Shroomsky * Highway 1 Category:cities Category:Rooms